OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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