I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
