this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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