thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
