oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
