Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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