the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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