"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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