do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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