awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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