Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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