Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
