well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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