Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
