Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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