What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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