are you still at the devil's house?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
this boner is exhausting
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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