How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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