I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
