Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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