doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My vagina just recognized that song.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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