Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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