Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
