By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
