It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
