so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
