I can text with my tongue
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
