Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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