i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
this hospital has no fireball
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
