Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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