I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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