It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
