Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
