she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
