i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
