Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
