Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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