I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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