Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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