is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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