hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
