I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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