Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Quick, to the slutcave!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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