I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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