let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
