and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
