so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
