i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
