I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
