He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
