I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
