Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
