C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Welp...herpes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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